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When It's Cancer: Disclosure in the Workplace
by Toni Bernay, Ph.D., and Saar Porrath, M.D., authors of When It's Cancer: The 10 Essential Steps to Follow After Your Diagnosis
Opening up to your colleagues about your cancer diagnosis is a more sensitive matter. You may worry that you're no longer a contributing member of the workforce, that you are seen as damaged goods. You may fear, perhaps rightly so, that your news will become a topic of gossip rather than a conduit for strengthening workplace bonds.
Some people will resent being called upon to pick up some of your workload. Others may start vying for your position well before you are ready to quit. Clients, worried that you won't be able to follow through on commitments, may talk about taking their business elsewhere. If you're in a management or executive position, you may worry that the delicate chain of command you've established to protect your own power base will collapse in your absence.
Relationships with co-workers are quite different from those with family and friends. Since you spend most of your waking hours with these people, they may seem like extended family. But often the workplace is a highly politicized, Machiavellian environment. Until now, you may have chosen to keep your personal life to yourself. You never wanted to show your vulnerability when the guy in the cubicle next to yours or a fellow member of the management team could be after your position. Now things have changed. You will need to build on all the alliances you have established.
Make sure that the people closest to you hear the news directly from you -- or, if that isn't possible, from someone who can speak on your behalf. With bad news, especially, people need to hear it from the right source. As for who should know first, it's customary to start at the top, with your boss. This is just smart office politics. You wouldn't want the person who holds the purse strings to find out secondhand.
Once you've talked with your boss, you can tell your most trusted colleagues, then move on from there. The following pointers should help the process go smoothly.
· As you share the news with your colleagues, ask that they keep it to themselves until you've had a chance to speak with everyone directly.
· If you deal with clients and customers outside the office, decide ahead of time just how much you want them to know.
· Try to tell people over as short a period of time as possible. The rumor mill grinds very quickly, as you probably know.
· Make arrangements to meet your colleagues outside the office -- perhaps after work at a local cafe. Don't expect them to drop what they're doing, listen to what you have to say, and then pick up where they left off.
· If you can't meet after work, plan your conversations for as close to the end of the day as possible. Your news will be emotionally exhausting. That way your colleagues -- and you -- can go home and recover.
Reprinted from: When It's Cancer: The 10 Essential Steps to Follow After Your Diagnosis by Toni Bernay, PhD, and Saar Porrath, MD (March 2006; $15.95US/$22.95CAN; 1-57954-823-7) © 2006 Toni Bernay, PhD Permission granted by Rodale, Inc., Emmaus, PA 18098. Available wherever books are sold or directly from the publisher by calling (800) 848-4735 or visit their website at www.rodalestore.com.
Author
Toni Bernay, Ph.D., is a nationally recognized psychologist and executive coach. She serves as president of the Porrath Foundation for Cancer Patient Advocacy and is a principal in the Leadership Equation Institute, a national consulting firm for executives and entrepreneurs. She resides in Beverly Hills.
Her husband, Saar Porrath, M.D., was a preeminent breast oncologist at the forefront of numerous advances in breast health and care. He established the nationally known Woman's Breast Center in 1983. For his contributions to health care, he was honored by Los Angeles County, as well as the cities of Los Angeles and Santa Monica.
For more information, please visit www.porrathfoundation.org
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